That statement doesn't really mean all that much on the surface, but underneath the surface it speaks to the turmoil I've been going through this week with regard to my job. Every week, I hear more travel-related comments that lead me to believe that travel may be the rule as opposed to the exception in the coming months. Just before I sat down to write this entry, I sent an email to two of my supervisors expressing my concerns over extensive travel. I told them I'd not been told travel would be extensive during the interview process. I heard it would be more on the order of a week a month, and that the trips would be short. Now I'm hearing that they may be both frequent and long. Only time will tell how they will react. I told them that if my current path is going to lead to a lot of travel, steps need to be taken to change my path. I also pointed out that my voicing my concerns now is meant to avoid future conflict. Finally, I said I liked the company and wanted to be a team player, but that my happiness has to come first. I walked a delicate line, as I'd let my silence do the talking when I was hired, as opposed to my words - I had to make sure I didn't contradict anything I'd said.
If they believe there are no contradictions, I think I'll come out of this fine. They'll probably alter my role in the company. I can see them giving me a pay cut if no other high ranking roles are available. But it doesn't matter - I'd gladly take the cut if it meant little or no travel. I sometimes wonder whether I should've accepted the other job I was offered when I took this one - certainly it would've been easier work with less stress and no travel. Then again, I need to be pushed outside of my comfort zone like I'm being pushed now. The only problem is that there's only so much I can take. Traveling all the time is way outside my comfort zone - it's not something I ever want to do, unless it's seeing the world with the important people in my life.
Anyway, I'll jump back to the beginning of the week. On Monday, JW and I got up after our interesting New Year's Eve. We had breakfast, and then I drove her out to her parents' house - she spent that night there so that she could get a ride out to see a teacher about the work she's doing, and to a long-overdue orthodics appointment. I went home after dropping her off, stayed for a minute, and then went to my parents' house for New Year's dinner with my grandmother. I likely seemed distant all through dinner, and I actually slept a bit while we all watched the news downstairs afterward. I was constantly thinking about New Year's Eve. After dinner, Dad drove my grandmother home first, then me. I spent the evening finishing off last week's entry, parts of which I later erased.
Tuesday was a bad day. I woke up feeling terrible, and I was angry that I had to go to work. At work, I found it very difficult to focus on anything. I was still thinking about New Year's Eve, and it really bothered me. Finally, after work, I talked with JW about the whole thing. She explained some things to me, and I confirmed that I had indeed been letting my mind run wild, dreaming up crazy explanations for ordinary occurences. I felt much better, and I haven't felt bad since. I spent a bit of time reading a book called "Feeling Good", which is about cognitive therapy. It is mainly aimed at the depressed, but I think it might help my shyness, plus it's humourously written and enjoyable to read.
On Wednesday, work was much better and I got a lot done. Apart from a idiotic client, the day went smoothly. That evening, I played pool with TA and AD for the first time in a while. We had a few drinks and played pretty badly overall, but it was fun.
On Thursday, I worked from eight in the morning until seven-thirty at night - it was a long day, due in full to the idiotic client, who'd changed their minds about something at the last minute. After work, I went straight to JW's - it seemed like forever since I'd seen her. She had a lot of work to do, so I was her company while she got it done.
On Friday, we released another build of our product at work without incident. I wrote a version of the travel email that I rewrote today. After work, I biked all the way to my parents' house in the dark - it was pretty bad. I couldn't see the cracks in the pavement, and there was a lot of traffic. I decided never to bike that far in the dark again, unless I can find a high-powered light that's easy on batteries (yeah right!). Dad and I went up to Price Club after I loaded the bike into the car. I got two MASSIVE (I mean like 10 lbs each) books on ancient history - one is about the rise and fall of the Roman Empire, and the other is about all of the ancient central american cultures. I was going to get only the Roman one, but at $18 a piece for 600-page, full colour, hard-covered books, I had to get them both. I also got some solomon gundy (tasty fish!) and shaved pastrami.
After Price Club, I went home to eat, after which AD picked me up and took me to TA's. We watched four episodes of MXC, followed by an episde of the Trailer Park Boys. Then, we sat OUTSIDE in our T-SHIRTS for a half hour - this is early January we're talking about! Finally, TA and I fell asleep watching AD play Zelda 2 (badly).
On Saturday, I got up at a decent time and cleaned up all the debris lying around my house. I also organized my music and movie files on the computer. I finally (with JW's help) figured out how to use photoshop to get rid of the red eye in the boxing day pictures taken at TA's. I put them up on my site, and then fixed the site as it hadn't worked for a while.
I went over to JW's around four. She finished up some work, and then we went to Staples for supplies, the drugstore for drugs, the mall for a present for JW's roommate (and mediocre New York Fries fries) and finally the grocery store for groceries. Following a bit of fun, we went to see "Children of Men" at the theatre. It was really good - very impressive as far as visual effects go, and very tense and suspenseful. I really enjoyed the theatre sound - the movie is set in the future, and so there were some interesting pieces of music played. The movie shows humans of the future unable to reproduce amidst a chaotic world on the brink of collapse. There is constant violence and terror. The movie tries to tell us to get off our asses and stop such a thing from happening - it even refers to the good old days when we ignored the future (today). Through all of the chaos, a young woman who has amazingly become pregnant manages to escape Britain to go to a facility where the infertility is studied, with the help of strangers. She is one of the few main characters to escape with her life. The movie ends rather suddenly - we do not find out whether the infertility is cured, nor do we learn anything about the facility (or group) the girl has traveled to.
After the movie, JW and I headed home and went to bed. On Sunday, we got up and finally got rid of her Christmas tree after breakfast. At lunchtime, I left to give her time to get her work done before a possible dinner at her roommate's parents' house. I'm now writing this entry :) and I'll be going to my grandmother's for her birthday dinner - pizza and angel food cake! It doesn't get any better than that - except that the closest pizza is my nemesis, Greco. I wish I could bring up some Donnini's... mmmm good! Mmmm Muffins! After that, I'm sure I'll be watching golf, as it's the first tournament of the year, and I actually get it here at home.
I'm currently listening to: "I Hope You Die", from "Hooray for Boobies!", by "The Bloodhound Gang".
Movies watched this week: "Children of Men"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment